As I was looking at my calendar for the next month, I began to feel a few knots in my stomach. It wasn’t the churn of stress or overwhelm (well, maybe just a little bit!). I’m actually looking forward to a number of training sessions, a retreat and a conference for my professional development. No, the knots were in anticipation of the energy that it will take for me to be “on” for each of the events. You see, as a life-long introvert, connecting with people at large events such as this (otherwise known as “networking”) has always taken a lot out of me physically.
If you are a student of personality types, you know that introverts can be described as reserved, reflective, and focused inward, and that we recharge our batteries from peace and solitude, not from being in large groups of people. So as I thought about my own schedule and how I will mentally and physically prepare myself for successful networking at each of my upcoming commitments, I thought that other leader-introverts could benefit from simple strategies that have helped me over the years. After all, one of a leader’s primary roles is to get work done through other people and to be a conduit of information for his/her team. As such, establishing effective relationships with others is a key skill. Mastering networking, even if it’s not your favorite activity, will go a long way towards boosting your leadership effectiveness.
The next time you think “networking” is a dirty word, change your perspective and think of it as an action verb and a habit. Here are some ideas to help you develop this habit:
- Well in advance of your next meeting, conference or other encounter with other people, think about the top 3 things that you want/need to know or the top 3 takeaways that you want from the meeting. If you need to, write these things down and take your list with you to your meeting. Slip your list in your pocket and peek at it periodically, memorize it, write it on your hand (kidding!) – do what you need to do to keep these 3 things in mind throughout the event. This tip keeps you focused on the reasons why you need to connect with others.
- Set a target for yourself of the number of new people who you want to meet at the event. Be realistic and bold at the same time. Really stretch yourself. For example, I know that if I don’t give myself a goal, I’m perfectly happy just talking to the person seated to my right at a meeting or conference! So for the upcoming conference that I’ll be attending, my goal is to meet at least 30 new people and to engage in more than the standard pleasantries with them. That may not be a big deal to an extrovert, but my fellow introverts know that this is no small feat!
- At the event, focus on other people, not yourself. As you meet people, be open to being a blessing to others – you might have a contact or other information that would be useful to someone at the meeting/conference. When you look for opportunities to meet other’s needs, your discomfort is lessened.
- Finally, be sure you are well rested prior to whatever event you will be attending – whether it is a two-hour meeting or two-day conference. It’s so much easier to remain positive and to enjoy working on your new habit when you feel good!
These 4 strategies have worked for me - what other ideas do you have?

Posted by Rythee Jones 









